


Saying No

by chichirichick



Category: Soul Eater
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-17
Updated: 2021-01-17
Packaged: 2021-03-15 23:14:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28821306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chichirichick/pseuds/chichirichick
Summary: Soul thinks he has it all figured out, giving Maka the fair offer that if she doesn't want to, then say no. It shouldn't be more complicated than that, right? **sexual content** right off the bat.
Relationships: Maka Albarn & Soul Eater Evans, Maka Albarn/Soul Eater Evans
Comments: 4
Kudos: 71





	1. Chapter 1

Maka could blame it on being drunk, but they weren't. Two beers each didn't even scrape the threshold for that, especially since hers had been slowly sipped over the entirety of the quiet get-together at Kid's because _if_ they got caught for underage drinking maybe she'd have some plausible deniability. Soul always scoffed at it: they were old enough to die saving people but not old enough to have a drink every now and then. Even Kid didn't balk at it anymore, but she imagined that was thanks to a healthy dose of peer pressure from the Thompson sisters.

So what was her excuse right now for being naked in Soul's lap, bouncing on his dick like she actually knew what she was doing even though she honestly had no clue? All Maka knew was her body was saying there was literally no life without this (technically, there wasn't, right?) and the pleasure was just an ounce of what it could be. That was the truth because she could feel something in her winding up like she was about to pop, like her insides were about to explode in fireworks and confetti. Soul was urging her forward, not just with his hands driving her hips against him but even with his soul, trying to soothe and force her to let go of the last stranglehold she had on reality.

Because how did they get here? This was her best friend, her partner, the only person in the universe that she trusted with every last inch of her, and they were ruining it. And it was her fault, of course. There had been a boundary between _them_ and _this,_ and for so long she'd maintained it. Kept it clean and clear of emotional debris. Swept away all her muddled feelings that threatened to bend into it and smudge that line. That was until about fifteen minutes ago, when as he teased her coming back into the apartment with that stupid smirk that made his cheeks glow and she kind of just, well, forgot it all for a second.

She had threatened to wipe it off his face and when he challenged right back she had no choice. Everyone knows the easiest way to do that is by kissing, anyway. Which had opened the floodgates:

Soul lifting her, his hands so firm on her ass that she felt weightless.

His teeth nibbling into the soft flesh of her neck to elicit his name from her mouth in a tone she'd never used in their entire life together - a pleading that got her exactly what she wanted.

Him scything off her panties as she eagerly negotiated him out of his pants and boxers.

Her desperately rubbing him against her opening before gliding down, leaving both of them gasping for air.

Without a second thought, without hesitation, without protection, without any last scrap of common sense. Then it hit her, the icy cold realization that this must have been exactly what her parents had done.

* * *

"Maka, let it go." That growling whisper was his last-ditch effort since all of this was honestly exhausting. Not only was he trying to keep himself from cumming, a feat that was astronomical for a guy who was having his first-ever sexual experience with the woman of his dreams, but also trying to unwind her stubbornly shut up soul and mind enough that she could cum. Add into that the fact that he was still running game-plans in the back of his mind made for a terrifying amount of work.

Because when they were sixteen, Soul had made the decision: he'd wait. It was technically what he was good at, biding his time and thinking things through to the point of overkill. This kind of thing fit him, played to his strengths. The kind of thing we're talking about was his hopelessly complex relationship with his meister, Maka. It hadn't taken him long to realize that Maka was a tangled, elaborate web of conflicting feelings that she rarely ever got right the first time. That's why when he came to the surprising conclusion that somehow that's what he liked, he let go and settled into it.

So he planned. If there was a possible outcome, he thought of it. He spent nights creating play-by-plays of what would happen if they kissed on a mission, or if one day while watching a movie she finally caved. Because he wasn't being full of himself when he lived with the surety that she was just as much his as he was hers. No other weapon-meister pairs were as physically inseparable: holding hands, collapsing on the couch together, and more often than not sleeping in the same bed. But pushing her over that line was never going to be his job since eventually, as with everything, her brash courage would bring her to exactly where she should be.

Except, as predicted in one of his many daydreams, Maka was only going to let herself get so far that first time. Soul had resigned himself to not finishing especially since she'd actually kind of surprised him by taking the gamble of not using protection, something he felt fairly bad about since even with all the forethought, he'd gotten swept up into the moment, too. He'd wanted this more than anything else in the world. And it wasn't just the sex, it was the idea that the stupid boundary between the two of them could finally be erased.

But even with her soul clam-shelling shut on the moment, Maka didn't stop the desperate grinding against him and Soul wasn't able to be the better man no matter how hard he tried. He came with a helpless call of her name as his face pressed between her breasts. Two seconds were allotted to celebrate in his head, joyously memorizing that feeling before he tilted his head back to come face to face with the predictable worry on her face.

"That was the best," snuck through the smile on his lips just as "that was a mistake," eked from hers.

Soul knew that was coming. It was number one on his list of ' _wrong things Maka's going to say when we stop toeing the line'_ but he couldn't help but still feel a little of the sting. He cleared his throat and opened his mouth, finally ready to unfold the most well-rehearsed speech in his mind. "I get it, you're scared. I am, too, but I'm done playing around, pretending I don't feel the way I do. I want this and unless you tell me no, I'm going to keep at it."

"Tell you no?" she barely murmured, her eyes more white than green for a moment.

"Tell me to stop," he ordered back. "If you really don't want it, I know you will and you know I'd never do anything you didn't want. Like right now…" He grabbed the sheet off the bed behind him since they were probably overdue for a change as it was. With her eyes still like a deer's in the headlights, he lifted her hips and sighed as he fell free from her and started cleaning up the mess between the two of them with the sheet. "Once we're cleaned up, I'm going to return the favor because you _almost_ got there and we always play it even, Maka. Unless you tell me no." He brought a corner of the sheet between her legs and rubbed softly before pausing, bringing his eyes intently to hers. "Tell me you don't want me to."

He hadn't calculated for quite as long a pause as she took, just staring down at him as he sat frozen under her verdant glare. This was the only problem with all of his planning: no matter how well he knew her, and most of her ins-and-outs were like second nature to him, Maka was still capable of surprising him. Her lips latching desperately back onto his was just another one of those moments.

* * *

Maka was supposed to be the one in control. She wielded him, he was her weapon, not the other way around. It was her touch that was supposed to move him but instead in his bed, in the dark, the world was on an entirely different axis. How Soul could possibly be that deft at manipulating her body was mind-boggling and it was almost enough again to let that wave take her. _Almost_. She felt powerless, ebbing towards an ending that seemed all under his authority until she clung to the only thing she had. "No."

True to his word, Soul rolled off her just as easily as he had on top of her, his hands coming back to rest flat on his chest. His red eyes were slow and blinking.

It took convincing for her to look at him, waiting to see some kind of annoyance but just finding that absorbing gaze. _The only person you're frustrating is yourself_ , her mind whispered back. She waited for admonishment, for questioning, for discontent but only found that his breathing had steadied and he'd fallen to tapping his fingers to his chest with a gentle rhythmic _thump_. Maka shifted her legs in the sheets, her body screaming anxiously with want denied.

As soon as her mind lighted on her nakedness he was leaning over the side of the bed, snagging his t-shirt and throwing it over her, "Here."

"Thank you." Maka clutched it to her chest but it still felt useless because it wasn't just bare skin. Soul was always the closest to her, the one she'd let in regardless of all of the mired pain, but this was all of it, all of her.

Soul offered her a smile, making the tightness in her throat worse. She was drowning and was about to give in, to let all the fear pull her tightly under when he whispered, "Can I touch your hair?"

"What?" He snapped her from the edge of that tangled ocean lapping at her feet.

"Run my fingers through your hair," he clarified but his fingers kept thrumming. "You can say no," he added as a reminder.

Did it annoy her, the way he kept giving her an out? Or did it feel like he was just saying that to give her a delusion of control? _It's boundaries. All my little boundaries and he's testing each one._ "Fine."

There was a strengthening to the curl in Soul's smile as he rolled on his side, not renewing the pressure of his skin against hers like before but just decreasing the space so he could reach out for her without straining. His fingers weren't as sure this time, not like when he had been so dedicatedly toying between her legs. Instead, it was exploration spelled out in the pads of his fingers.

His touch was like his music to her, pulling her back to him regardless of the anxiety that was still nibbling at the back of her mind. There was no madness that they couldn't break for each other and Maka felt that truth so keenly in that moment that her voice finally seemed to come back to her. "You said you were afraid."

"Sure," he gave her one sharp nod but didn't change the trajectory of his fingers as they ran through to the base of her neck.

"Why?" That was a dangerous question because Maka knew it could come right back to her and she would deserve it.

"Change is scary," he murmured as his hand planted, the search ending as if he'd found something while getting tangled in her golden tresses.

"Change." It was a horrifying word and a warbling echo from her lips.

"But," he started quickly, once again grabbing her from that precipice again, "I don't think I'm exactly sure we changed."

"We had sex," Maka corrected quickly.

"You said it," he snorted a laugh. "Oh, man, I was sure you'd use a euphemism or something."

A weighty sigh left her lips, "Soul!"

That didn't kill the amusement on his face, that devilish grin that started all of this making another appearance. "I'm just saying, for the past few years you and me… our souls are inseparable. We fit, we work, so this doesn't seem any more _together_ than we were before, you know? Sure, it's something new, but we were already in a place where there's no pulling us apart. That change happened years ago, and neither of us stopped it then."

Maka didn't stop it as he pulled her back in. There wasn't a word from her lips as his confident hands went back to their task. With all the denying, the waiting, the aching, the final release of it crushed her, her body completely lost to herself just for long enough to be his.

* * *

The wait at the pharmacy was performed in silence. Maka had seemed shell-shocked when Soul even mentioned the morning-after pill but he was prepared. This was another one of his contingencies. So after getting dressed they'd headed out and now stood without comment in line. Well, technically, he had no comments but he could see them racing across Maka's face especially as they finally broached the check-out and Soul tossed a box of condoms on the counter.

Out of the corner of his eye, he could see her face turning scarlet, her eyes darting between the goods and cashier as if that poor late-night employee actually gave a fuck what they were buying. He knew there wouldn't be a fit, just the regular old Maka implosion until they were by themselves. With that in mind, he threw the cash down before grabbing the bag and turning for their exit. Before they even hit the doors, he hooked her pinky with his pointer, coaxing her hand into his. She put up a good fight for the first few minutes before giving in. After a few more steps, her fingers were latched as tightly as a drowning swimmer to a buoy.

Getting through the door had been what he assumed would be the catalyst that sent her voice skyrocketing as soon as they got into the apartment, but she was decidedly silent. Maka snatched the bag from his fingers and rushed down the hallway to the bathroom, slamming the door behind her and locking it for the first time in a year. With a resigned sigh, Soul plodded after her before letting his back meet the wall next to the door, sliding down to sit on the floor and do what he did best, wait.


	2. Chapter 2

Maka had read the direct, easy to follow instructions from the Plan B fifteen times. Each time she started at the top she held her breath, feeling each word steal away a particle of oxygen until she was almost suffocating. This was not rocket science, this was just life, and even in the smart safety of it all, it terrified her. That fact that he had everything under control was even more disorienting because he should be panicked. Not that outward, wide-eyed franticness that she was exhibiting but he hadn't pulled on his usual indifferent mask, the one that told her underneath it all his mind was a discordant mess.

Even worse, and what seemed the most irrational of all, was that she couldn't cry even if it was the only logical outcome was that she should be drowning in her own tears. Life was over. The easy existence she and Soul had was doomed since a romantic relationship was as plausible as the second flight of the Hindenburg. Instead, as she read the paper clutched between her fingers for the sixteenth time, what really wanted to eke through was contentment. There was the tiniest of voices in the back of her mind begging her to unlock the door, to curl up in his lap, and let him tell her it was all going to be alright because if Soul said it, she would believe it. So why was she still shaking, holding on to more than just the directions in her hand? Because while Maka Albarn could be brave in the face of any enemy, it was the ones she loved that she feared the most.

She swallowed the pill and maybe a little bit of her pride with it.

Spikes of white hair were low on the doorframe when she opened it, the profile of his nose popping out next as he turned his head in to look at her knees. She shuffled her feet and purposefully left the box of condoms on the sink because the only other option would have been to throw them at him. After a step into the hallway, Maka slunk down. Since there was no room on the wall next to the door she just leaned back, taking up the space between his legs. A sudden thrill hit her as he eagerly made space, his arms wrapping around her shoulders to pull her tightly to his chest.

"You know it's past your bedtime." She couldn't tell if she could feel or hear the words better, his lips so close to her ear but his chest buzzing against her back.

She needed his fingers tighter, her hands coming to his to press them into her skin. "Maybe I won't go in tomorrow."

"And ruin your perfect attendance?" Soul scoffed. One of his hands came awkwardly to her neck, experimenting again by running along the cord of muscle. "No, you're better than that."

"But…" She slid against his shoulder, giving herself the space to turn her head and look in his eyes. "What's going to happen tomorrow?"

That smirk that sent her stomach on a rollercoaster ride split his lips. "What's tomorrow? Thursday?"

Maka rolled her eyes as her hand came up and tightly gripped into the collar of his t-shirt. First, she tapped her fist but then ground the knuckles against the fabric, eliciting a grunt from him. His grin refused to deaden. "Fine. It'll be Thursday."

"Uh," he let the vowel roll against the back of his throat, his eyes lifting to the ceiling like the list was written there. "I think I have a meeting with Kid. Definitely have a sparring session with Black Star. Then I'm supposed to make a cameo at Weapons' class. I bet you have the morning in the library, a date with one of those moldy oldies on soul perception, and I know you're teaching meister class for the second half of that afternoon, just like always. I'll show up at the tail-end of that to watch you work because I like that."

Listening to the list had only increased the ball of her fist, making her ready to shake him because he was playing with her, but the last sentence sucked all of it out, leaving confusion behind. "Like what?"

"Like watching you," he less than clarified.

She tapped her knuckles against him again. "But why?"

"I don't know," he shrugged. "Makes me feel… proud of you, I guess. It's weird. I haven't figured it out yet."

"I thought you had everything figured out," she murmured.

A hearty laugh reverberated through his chest, leaving her back tingling. "I have today figured out. Maybe tomorrow. Past that…"

"Past that?" She wanted to pry all this surety right out of his mouth, to force him to share because right now it was all in his head, not hers.

"We'll find out. Together. Like always." Each came out with an amused certainty like everyday facts. His hand came to her fist, unraveling the fingers before tangling them in his. "Can I kiss you?"

Her face flushed because just the idea of it brought all of the feelings back, the way his hands burned into her skin. "Why?"

"Why," he laughed. "Maka, _why_? Because I like it. It feels good. Maybe _you_ like it."

"It feels good," she made it sound like an echo so that it didn't feel like an admission.

He let it go, only raising his eyebrows before offering, "So?"

"Fine," she whispered.

"Fine," he mirrored with a renewed trickle of laughter as he leaned towards her.

The kiss was nothing like before, not heated and desperate enough to bruise lips but just a sweet caress that made her fingers flex in his involuntarily. He ended it so quickly that all she could do was release a shaking sigh as he pulled away, another battle starting in her head. _It feels good_. Maka ditched his hand because she needed to throw her arms around his neck, to cling to him for dear life because everything made sense but didn't. Everything felt fine, safe, and perfect but so dangerous, disorganized, and disastrous.

"It's fine, Maka," he murmured.

If Soul said it, she believed it. That was always the rule.

* * *

Liz was leaning into Tsubaki, absently reading the bulletin pressed between her fingers. It was then that Maka zoomed by. It wasn't just a regular, _I-have-something-to-read_ Maka rush, but some kind of a grayish whirlwind of panic that sent both Liz and Tsubaki's eyebrows up to their hairlines.

"What was that?" Liz nudged Tsubaki and both of their gazes followed after the whipping blond hair slowly receding in the distance.

"We should find out." Tsubaki started crumpling the paper between her fingers and just as she pressed off the wall a firm arm broke in front of both of them.

Soul held his arm out long enough for both of them to stutter to a stop, both girls blinking at him in confusion. "Don't do that."

"Excuse me?" Liz raised an eyebrow at him.

He dropped his arm along with any information from his gaze, that blank apathy the only thing left to read. "Leave her alone today."

Tsubaki put a soothing hand over Liz's, sure that the next thing out of her mouth was going to be a snap and trying to get her calm voice out first. "Did something happen?"

"Sure," Soul nodded.

"Well? What?" Liz hissed at him regardless of Tsubaki's attempt to quell her.

Soul looked down the hallway as if he could still see her. He could still technically feel her storming, her soul so tangled and unsure. Tucking herself next to him in bed last night didn't seem to make a difference since he woke this morning to green eyes scrutinizing him. But this was still all within his predictions. She needed time. "She'll tell you. Probably tomorrow. But let it go today." He swiveled his head back to the girls and could almost enjoy the confusion on their faces.

"What the hell, Soul?" Liz barked. "This cool guy shit-"

Tsubaki yanked Liz's hand. "It's one day, Liz."

Liz narrowed her eyes incredulously at her. "But…"

"Please," Soul added, better late than never.

"Fine," Liz spat back. "But tomorrow I better get at least a phone call from her."

Soul waved his palms innocently. While some things seemed under his control for the moment that most certainly wasn't. The only reality he could guarantee was that today Maka Albarn was probably unreachable.

* * *

Every clap of the library door sent Maka's eyes darting from the text, leaving sentences jumbled and facts completely left behind. The calendar Soul had laid out had been correct, she had put the morning aside for a headfirst dive into a variety of volumes that were currently spread out across the desk in front of her. At this point, her pages should be filled with notes but there were just sharp pen marks where she had stabbed helplessly as she jumped at each entrance.

The worst part: each ounce of this nervousness was unreasonable and she knew it. Soul had been clear that today would be normal, even if it felt anything but. _I'm creating it, all the worry, all the craziness is just in me and somehow I can't quell it. I can't stop the twists and turns because I'm scared of the change that's apparently not a change._ That's what she started pressing into the page, words that undulated between Sylvia Plath and Pablo Neruda, confusion and pain sandwiched between devotion and passion. It wasn't a complete catharsis but she was sucked in enough that she didn't notice any more entrances, especially his eventual one.

Soul hovered for a moment in front of the desk, Maka missing his complete entertainment at her expense. His smirk was aching by the time he tapped a finger on the desk. "Earth to Maka."

She jumped, instantly slapping the notebook closed in the process. "I thought you were sparring."

"Done." Which should have been obvious from the sweat that still clung to his clothes, the moppish nature of his hair. "You hungry?" He nodded at the clock.

Her vision followed and she gaped as the hands on the clock betrayed her. "It's noon?"

"Yeah," he chuckled. "And I'm asking you to eat lunch with me. You're spacing today, Maka."

Maka's face flushed and her fingers were no longer under her control, flexing tightly into a fist. "Like a date?"

Soul leaned over her desk as he smirked. "I'm saying it's lunchtime and nine times out of ten you and I eat together." He narrowed his eyes and she could see him processing as he examined her face like a book. "Unless that's what you want. You want a date?"

"I…" She ran her knuckles down the top of her thighs. _Isn't this the wrong order? Isn't it wrong? All wrong?_

He spun off the desktop, leaving her with his back. "Come on, I'm hungry." His footsteps were slow but steady and Maka only had a few seconds of indecision before she had to take the leap. Still, she refused to bound after him, just starting enough to get in his periphery so that Soul curbed his step. "Cafe and then roof?"

Maka nodded with all of the strength she had left. The rest of her movements felt listless and she was thankful for the habit-spurred actions that brought her to the final resting place of the rooftop with a stereotypical lunch in hand. None of it mattered anyway since her stomach had left her long ago as she was still busy chewing on the idea they'd left in the library.

Soul was his ravenous self, looking less like he was enjoying but more inhaling his food as she kicked her feet over the edge, watching the small clouds of dust. "How was the studying going?" He nudged her and when Maka turned to look at him the crinkle of his eyebrows told her he'd asked that more than one time.

The question didn't have an adequate answer and instead her mind was screaming for release, the words starting quickly off her tongue. "Why haven't you… acted differently?"

A smirk ticked at the edge of his mouth but he pressed his lips together instead, erasing it with a sigh. "Told you, there's nothing different."

Maka let out a huff of air, ready to snap back when his hand came out to let his fingers ease the air between them and make her bite her tongue.

"I held your hand this morning from the bike until you ran off," he murmured. "That's nothing new, though, right? Or us having lunch. If anyone saw us sneak away up here it wouldn't be gossip, it wouldn't even register." His hand between them stretched out and his fingertips drifted the length of her cheek. "And how I feel about you today is the same as it was yesterday. Same as last year, and the year before that."

Arranging her own words in the face of his seemed impossible and the only thing that left her lips was, "That long?"

"Yeah," Soul shrugged. "That's why I had plenty of time to figure those feelings out. Maybe…" His voice dipped and jumped just like his Adam's apple as his eyes faltered to his hand. "Maybe they're new for you, that's why…"

That was laughable, the idea that Maka's need for him was something that had magically just appeared with that kiss or even at the moments before it. It felt like an ageless something as if it were there before she even knew him, only getting a name when she learned his. "Don't be stupid." She grabbed his hand from her cheek, using it to pull him closer until they were shoulder to shoulder.

Soul seemed to accept the admonishment and the closeness, letting a silence slip between them as their feet tapped over the edge. Tentatively, his hand slipped across the small of her back until it settled on her hip. "So, really, how was studying?"

"Terrible," she murmured as she rested her head against his shoulder. "I was distracted."

He grunted a laugh, "But things have been so calm lately."

Maka didn't even gift him an eye-roll, instead jabbing at his thigh with her finger. "How was your meeting with Kid?"

His fingers clenched against her side and his voice came back without the amusement, "Bad."

"Bad?" Maka turned the jab into a peaceful fan of her fingers.

"Just a mission," he was forcing the coolness in his voice as his soul obviously strained. "I'll be gone for all of next week."

"That happens."

"Yeah," he murmured.

His lips rested softly on her forehead. The sensation wasn't alien to her, her parents had done it a million times while she was growing up, but the hum that it stirred up in her chest was.

"Sorry, that was probably a little much for school," he muttered.

Maka didn't even bother to look around, she just tilted her head enough to catch his lips before they got too far.


	3. Chapter 3

Soul had been staring at the heroine's frozen mouth, her teeth gnarled like she was about to bite, when the box hit him just below his temple.

"Will you put this somewhere?" Maka had returned from the bathroom but was now just standing in the doorway, hands on her hips.

He picked up the condoms with a chuckle he couldn't rein in, knowing by her tone that this was already a dangerous swamp he was wading into. "I don't know, it was good bathroom reading. Did you know-" He picked up the box, ready to read off some fact from the back when she cut him off.

"But if someone comes over and sees it," Maka urged.

"OK, my drawer or yours?" He couldn't help himself, his eyebrows coming up and that smirk saturating all of his features. _Oh, Death, I'm asking for it._

"I don't know," she huffed as her face started to pink. "I don't know why you bought them to begin with."

This was still technically fun, watching her squirm with the embarrassment of the act, but the fear was starting to lap at the back of his mind again. "Well, are we having sex again?"

He might as well have ripped the floor right out from underneath her, Maka's face faltering through a cycle of emotions that he couldn't even identify right away. "I don't know," her voice came down in volume but not in tone, the fight still there.

"Unless it's a no, we should be prepared," he tilted the box at her before getting up. "I'll go put it in my drawer." He was going to be true to his word since that answer seemed dangerous to him. ' _I don't know.' Come on, you told yourself she'd need at least a week to figure this out and it's barely been 24 hours. But it still hurts, doesn't it? And now you're leaving, giving you a day to still influence this decision before you're leaving her alone with her thoughts for a week._

As he hit his doorway her voice came back, slamming his ears as it reverberated through the tiny hallway. "I don't know why you even want to have sex with me anyway!"

He tossed the condoms on his bed so he could quickly turn back, ready to scoff in her face until he was met with her trembling lip, her green eyes already watering. "What?" came weakly from his lips instead of some smart comeback.

Her arms moved sharply, displaying herself only momentarily before grabbing to hold on, to keep herself together by the elbows. "What? Why do you even want to have sex with a flat-chested bookworm whose ass is so flat that-"

"OK," he shot out quickly, his hands already slowly starting to reach for her. "I deserve that."

"Of course you do," she hissed. "You used to say those things to me all the time, so I don't-" He wasn't sure if it was his hands on her or the leaking tears that stopped her voice but he was tentative with his touch, his fingers barely on her elbows.

"Again, no arguing that I said those things…" Soul desperately needed time to think since here he was, completely without a game plan. How had he just assumed this wouldn't come back and bite him in the ass? How had he just stored the memories away of his childish teasing and expected she'd forget them so easily? _By being a complete fucking moron, that's how_. "... but I want to highlight the ' _used to.'_ Not that that makes it any better."

He watched with a racing heart as that didn't seem to placate, Maka's lips pressing tight and flat before erupting again, "But you've never said anything different."

"No," he admitted. Here he was in the same old trap. The norm was to try his best to clean this up enough that it could be swept under the rug, not just with Maka but with everyone. _Except, I do that now, and I'm a hypocrite. I told her I'm done pretending, so why keep any more truths from her?_ He swallowed the embarrassment and fear as best he could, "Because I was scared what you'd do."

It surprised her just as much as it did him to hear the words, Maka gaping before pressing her lips back together tightly. He watched her run it over in her mind as she released the squeezing grip on herself and moved to run her hands over her face, clearing the tears. Script after script was running over her face but her mouth refused to budge.

Soul took a trembling breath, "What I did back then, I was an asshole, but I lived with the excuse that we _both_ were. You didn't really hold back your punches with me, either, so I thought that was it until I stopped. After that, you never said another bad word about me either and I realized it was _just_ because I was doing it. But did you mean the stuff you said about me?"

"So it's my fault?" she barked back but his hands were pulling her a step forward, gutting any more of her yell.

"Not what I'm saying. Answer the question," he murmured.

"No," she groaned.

"Same." His fingers drifted from her elbows up the back of her arms, leaving goosebumps behind. "I used to try so hard to keep this line between the two of us. We were so close already that it scared me that there was the chance that, well, that we weren't just friends. So, you held my hand too long? I'd panic, throw in a comment about whatever body part I knew would get you going that day." His hands were trembling and each word was urging her a breath closer. He knew he wasn't forgiven, not with that knot tangled between her eyebrows but she was listening, and that left him with a sprout of hope.

"Because what would have happened if I'd told you that I can barely handle myself when you wear your hair down? That I'm deathly afraid you'll notice how I look at your legs when I stretch you out before training? Or worse, that when you fall asleep next to me, I can barely get any fucking rest because I just want to _see_ you, be free to look at you without you catching on." Soul dared to bring his hands to cup her cheeks, rewarded with a slight softening of the wrinkle in her forehead. "So what I did was wrong. I was stupid for doing it, and for what it's worth, I'm sorry."

"You should be," she murmured but her stern eyes fell away from his to focus on her fingers that were now worrying away at the front of his shirt.

"I am," he murmured uselessly because he knew this was it, the point where he was effortlessly going to pound his foot into his mouth and ruin it. "But you're not just upset about that, are you?" Anxiety was an icy fist grabbing at his heart as he watched her bristle again, her mouth shooting open to unleash another torrent. He waited for the yell but instead got the snap of her lips. Maybe this emboldened him or maybe he was letting the latent fear take him but the words rushed from his lips, "I should have just stopped you at the kissing, Maka, I know I should have-"

"No," Maka didn't hesitate with the word. "We both did that. It wasn't just you, not just me." That was the end of her courage as the rest withered into a whisper, "We both wanted more than just a kiss."

Soul tried not to feel giddy but it was a failure, his stomach dipping at the idea as the heat hit his cheeks. Even with the little bit of euphoria, he knew better, just letting the words die away as he wrapped his arms around her. Maka stayed there letting him squeeze for a few minutes before edging out of his arms and back down the hallway. Soul waited until he heard her click the movie back on before he followed.

* * *

Maka watched him pack. It was always a last-minute activity, the second before he was supposed to leave haphazardly throwing necessities into a duffle bag. She could only watch fifteen minutes of this before begrudgingly starting to help him, something that she always assumed was his secret plan all along. Even now it was Maka who was the one zipping closed the bag before tossing it at him. Soul caught it but quickly let it dangle by the strap before hitting the floor. "Maka…"

"You better be thanking me for putting that bag together. I swear, Soul, you-" She wanted to be playful but he stole it all away from her, his hands quickly cupping her cheeks and pulling her into a kiss that not only shocked her with its suddenness but its desperation.

It took time for him to stop making insistent tugs on her lips and to pull away, his face just far enough from hers that he could talk. "Just…" Soul cleared his throat before letting his mouth gape slightly.

Maka watched it with the dawning surety that he was suddenly lost. _Why is he faltering now? What is it about this moment that suddenly he's not sure anymore like he was before?_ "Just?"

Another gravely sound grumbled in his throat before a shaky hand reached into her hair, clearing it from her shoulder as if that were the problem. "Be here when I get back."

She stared, eyes flitting from his slowly sobering smile to the crease in his forehead. "Where else would I go?" As her mind was slowly painting the picture for her, she could see him coming undone with worry finally eating at the edge of his lips.

"I'm not saying…" he sighed as his hand flexed above her shoulder before moving to touch her hair again. "Just, if you decide _something_ …"

Maka grabbed it, taking his worrying pads away from the strands and instead pressing it to her cheek. "No."

"No?" he murmured back, the wrinkle in his forehead multiplying.

"I'm telling you to stop." Maka tried to encourage his fingers, awkwardly rubbing his hand against her cheek until he caught on and let his fingers caress along her jaw.

"Stop what?" He was softly shaking his head and she was relieved to see the confusion starting to overturn the anxiety.

"You trusted me to tell you no when I didn't want you to do something," she snapped back matter of factly but there was a curl to her lip, the start of a smile. "I don't want you to worry."

A weak cough of a laugh tumbled from his mouth and the neediness suddenly whispered through his fingers. He was reaching for her, not just hands moving with purpose now but his soul as he pulled her tightly to him to negate where he ended and she began. "You know how impossible that is, right?" he muttered.

Maka didn't bother to answer right away, letting her touch speak for her as her hands traveled his back. "You better try," she hid her smile against his shirt, "or else you're breaking a promise, Soul."

"That's a threat." He laughed softly, letting it drift over her hair as he pressed his cheek to the top of her head. "Just a week."

"You're acting like we've never been apart that long," she murmured as her fingers continued the glide up and down his spine. "I probably won't even get my book done this week, so I don't know what you're worried I'll get up to."

"Your book will be done by Wednesday, tops." Soul was chuckling again and his grip was able to loosen. He took a step back from her, eyes still strangely fogged with worry but at least a smile starting on his lips. "Don't miss me too much."

"Stop," she groaned as she started to push him away. His hands touched at her hair again before relenting and reaching for his bag. It was a slow walk down the hallway, Maka glued close behind him until the last minute, giving him space to swing the front door open.

He looked over his shoulder at her, pausing to open his mouth for some last remark. It didn't matter, she stole a kiss instead as she pushed him out the door.


	4. Chapter 4

While Maka had envisioned her first night alone being filled with her book and a half (or maybe whole) tub of ice cream, that was not the reality. Instead, she sat with a pizza box on the coffee table and Tsubaki and Liz across from her. While eating was allowed to be a quiet activity, their eyes told her it was only a matter of time, a gentle reprieve before one or the other asked her the burning questions that hung in the air between them. Maka was already calculating what could and couldn't be said, but mostly she was sure that it would all tangle on her tongue before it could even get out.

After Soul had walked out the door she had actually even resorted to practicing in front of the mirror, knowing the inevitable was coming. First, she tried, ' _Soul and I are together'_ which led her into a strange chasm of what ' _together'_ meant since in its vaguest terms she could just mean in the same space and of course they were always in the same space. Second was ' _Soul and I are dating,'_ a set of words that were even worse since they hadn't. There was no date in sight and she had left it that way, hanging in the air because she was too afraid to actually say it might be nice for him to purposefully take her somewhere with the intent that it was _just them._

Then again, it was almost always _just them_. Dinner, movies, even a brief obsession with mini-golf all occurred with just him and her. That revelation had to be swatted away quickly because it only reinforced what his insistent voice kept whispering in the back of her head, ' _Nothing is actually changing.'_ Third, and finally what she was almost certain she'd settled on was ' _Things are complicated.'_ The ultimate cop-out.

So as Liz finished her pizza and unveiled the question, "What was wrong with you on Thursday?" Maka was ready for it.

Or not. "Things are complicated," she spewed instantly.

There wasn't an ounce of pity to be squeezed out of either woman. "What's complicated?" Tsubaki tried to clarify sweetly, letting her head tilt to the side.

Maka let out a throaty warbling groan.

"Did something happen after the party on Wednesday?" Liz drove straight to the point, a coy smile parting her lips. "You two were-"

"Being normal," Maka tried, feeling the failure sink into her gut as the pair laughed at her.

"You were doing that thing where you make excuses to touch Soul," Liz rolled her eyes, "And he was doing his usual lousy job of pretending to look sick of it."

This was the first time that accusation had actually been flung at her face and Maka was spellbound for a moment. As she played back the night, it was clear as day: the progression towards destroying that line had started just about halfway through that party. Soul had tried to put on his usual wallflower act so had forced him into one of the chairs, sitting on his feet so he had no chance to get away. For most of the night, she had rested her head on his knee, and once or twice she had tossed it back into his lap to say something to him just to find a satisfying pink spraying his cheeks.

"So?" Liz prompted again to pull Maka back from the mire of her memories.

Maka's lip trembled before she let out the most dangerous statement she could imagine, "We kissed."

Both women erupted, Liz in a high pitched squeal as she scuttered around the table to throw her arms around Maka's neck while Tsubaki let out a gushing and elongated ' _aw'_ as she clutched one of Maka's hands across the table. "Tell us everything he said," Tsubaki urged after the original sounds had dissipated.

The warm blush hit her cheeks before she managed to murmur, "That it was the best."

"OK, not eloquent but not bad," Liz nodded as she squished her shoulders again. "What else?"

 _What else?_ Maka was frozen, her mind playing back the rest of the discussion which hadn't exactly been romantic thanks to _her_. Her voice fell even quieter, "I said it was a mistake."

"What?" Liz's fingers dug into her shoulder.

"Oh, Maka, _no_ ," Tsubaki cried.

Maka let her head fall into her hands. "I _freaked_ ," she groaned, her voice now coming back in strength thanks to the utter disappointment that she was sharing with them. "And he didn't even blink. I don't know how that didn't hurt him because I would have cried. Oh, Liz, Tsu, I would have _sobbed_."

"Well, it probably still hurt him," Liz muttered.

"We all know he's just better at covering it up," Tsubaki finished with a sigh.

Liz was shaking Maka's shoulders now, making her lift her eyes back to the two of them. "What did he say to that, though?"

"He said that he wanted _this_ and unless I told him no, he was going to keep at it." That barely brought a smile to her face because suddenly it was hitting her, how much the entirety of that moment, of her staring at him and resisting for no reason other than baseless fear, must have stung.

"Please, please tell me you didn't tell him ' _no,'_ " Tsubaki begged as she rattled Maka's hand.

Maka shrugged weakly, "I didn't actually tell him anything. I just…" She looked between the two of them, her eyes pleading, "I just feel crazy, like I want to push him away and grab hold of him at the same time. I need him to tell me it's alright but then every time he does… I'm scared, just so scared."

"Of what?" Liz was smoothing her hair, trying to get that desperation out of Maka's eyes.

"I can't lose him," Maka murmured as the tears started in her eyes. "That kiss, all of it just puts us at risk of falling apart. He was safe being my best friend forever but now… what if he doesn't _love_ me?"

"Well, he said it, didn't it?" Liz asked incredulously.

"He said he _felt_ things, but…" The tears finally hit her cheeks and Maka instantly brought her hands to clear them. "What if he realizes that's just, I don't know, stupid teenage hormones and then I lose _everything_."

"I think that might be a little bit of _stupid teenage hormones,_ " Liz muttered.

Tsubaki quickly sent a glare in her direction before hissing, "Liz!"

"What?" Liz shook Maka by the shoulders again. "This level of worry is _insane_. I'm pretty sure you ask Soul and he's going to say he's in love because we've all seen it for the past few years. You think what you two were doing before this was _just best friends_?"

Tsubaki had to drop the attitude, her eyes softening on Maka, "Because none of us have thought you two were _just best friends_ since Asura." She was on the move, slinking around the table to Maka's other side so she could link arms with her. "And even though you seemed out of sorts on Thursday, it didn't look like it was anything that had to do with the two of you. The only weird thing was Soul stepping in and telling us to let you alone for the day."

"He what?" Maka murmured dumbly.

"No explanation, just leave you alone and a belated please." Liz was finally able to laugh at this even though at the moment she was sure she was going to punch him. "It was sweet."

"From you two?" Maka was even more bewildered since Soul had never intervened with the girls. Technically, she had always thought him afraid to, since no one dared challenge Liz and Tsubaki could sweetly butter anyone into agreement. Soul had no power over the two of them, or at least not normally.

Tsubaki nodded before she tenderly squeezed Maka's arm. "I think he was pretty sure that was saving you from something."

"Not sure what, since Tsu and I are obviously angels," Liz interjected.

Tsubaki rolled her eyes in return, "But I think it's still safe to say he was trying. Desperate to make you comfortable because I don't think it's a stretch to say that he _does_ love you."

"Though it'd be nice if he said it," Liz grumbled.

"I didn't say it either," Maka reminded. "And after what I said? If he did, why would he try? I was so closed, even when I kissed him again, I was still…"

"Oh, _again_?" Tsubaki cooed as she jostled Maka again.

"A couple of times," Maka managed a smile now, her body giving her the ghost of a memory to feel.

Liz examined Maka's face with a grin beaming. "And a smile, finally!"

Maka pretended to bristle as she eyed Liz, "I never said I didn't _like_ it."

"Of course you did," Liz teased. "You've crushed on him since _forever_ , so it must have been a dream come true!"

"Not _forever_ ," Maka rolled her eyes. "Only since last year."

Liz shook her head firmly, "No, last year was when you admitted it."

"It's been _way_ longer than that," Tsubaki added.

Maka looked between the two of them for a moment before huffing. "Well, if you two know everything then what do I do?"

Liz and Tsubaki exchanged glances before Tsubaki cleared her throat. "It helps to actually have a conversation with him."

"We talk," Maka spat quickly but winced at her own defensiveness.

"About everything that isn't the two of you," Liz corrected. "So have _that_ talk. Tell him what you want, or ask him what he wants."

Tsubaki grinned as her eyebrows lifted with excitement, "Make sure to ask him _when_ he knew he loved you. Oh, I bet it's _so cute_."

Liz laughed contently, "Tsu, you're a hopeless romantic."

"I secretly think Soul is, too," Tsubaki chirped. "I bet he's going to surprise you. Say something you're totally not going to expect."

Liz shook her head as she finally loosened her grip on Maka. "Nope, not buying it! He's going to have something short and maybe only a little sweet. What do you think, Maka?"

But she was already gone, too busy piecing together the words she wanted to say to him.

* * *

Neither of them was sitting on the beds, Kid because the pattern of the comforter was giving him agita and he still hadn't been able to talk himself into touching such a monstrosity long enough to get it off and Soul just to follow suit. Their knees were practically knocking in the tightness of the room but Soul didn't mind since Kid never really tried to take up that much space to begin with.

Even with the buzz of thoughts in his head, Kid smiled, "As per Liz, I'm supposed to drill you for all available information that clarifies the actions of Thursday morning."

"Thursday?" Soul considered playing stupid, but the likelihood that Liz had coached Kid for that was too high to risk it. "That's technically a Maka problem."

Kid raised a playful eyebrow. "Which is usually a Soul problem."

Soul hummed out a thoughtful affirmative before hugging his knees closer. "Am I talking to you as a boss right now or as a friend?"

"Why, would one get in the way of the other?"

"Well, one might tell me one thing…" Soul rolled his hand at the wrist to keep himself from wasting the breath.

Kid nodded sensibly before stretching out his legs so his toes kicked Soul's bed. "Then which would you prefer?"

"Friend, I guess," Soul shrugged.

"Friend is it." Kid settled his hands in his lap and his eyes on Soul.

"OK…" Even with the ground rules, Soul found his throat closing in on itself. It was technically his business, too, wasn't it? Definitely not just a Maka problem and he wasn't going to fool himself that Liz and Tsubaki hadn't already pried mostly everything from her at this point, but how much was too much? "After your place on Wednesday we, well, kind of…"

"Understood," Kid waved a hand.

"Huh?" His eyebrows shot up his forehead.

"Liz already told me that the two of you were even more flirtatious than usual that evening."

"What?" Soul spat. "No, we weren't. We were just, I don't know, having a good time. She and I, we-" It was the thin veil of humor on Kid's face that stopped him long enough for his thoughts to catch up with him. _Why are you denying it? It doesn't actually matter anymore. No one was buying it before and now that you're… something, no one should be believing it now either._ "OK, alright, there was… physical stuff." He gave a well-deserved cringe at his adolescence.

"OK," Kid offered as passively as possible but Soul could tell by the extra blinks that there was a lot more to say on that subject. Soul assumed that for Kid this was like a guy telling him he was fucking his sister. Maka had been Kid's shoulder to cry on during the Shinigami transition so Soul knew this was odd territory for both of them.

"Neither of us put on the brakes," Soul sighed, "But now? I don't know. I'm trying to give her time, just acting like normal _us_ in the meantime."

Kid paused his understanding nod to grasp his hand to his chin, rubbing like a beard should be between his fingers. "Have you told her how you feel?"

Soul winced, "I told her I have feelings…?"

The hand moved from Kid's chin to his forehead, definitely massaging there. "But _what_ those feelings are?"

"Totally not." A sigh was his reply and Soul felt his stomach dip, the unexpected slew of words starting to run from his brain. "Look, _she's_ supposed to be thinking, not _me._ I did my thinking, I know how I feel and I know what I want from this so I'm doing what's right and giving her time to figure out her side of it." He threw his hands up helplessly. " _I'm_ not confused."

"No, you're not," Kid jumped in quickly as he let his hand fall away. "But you're still scared."

"I'm-" The accusation stopped instantly on his tongue, his mouth suddenly so dry he was unsure if his voice could continue. "I'm fucking terrified," he wheezed out instead.

"Of what, though?"

Soul shook his head as he tried to piece it together. Ever since that night, the surety that he'd convinced himself with over the past two years had slowly started eking out like air from a balloon. "I can do anything, I can figure anything out but… she has to love me, Kid. And I'm too chicken-shit to say it first and risk that she… that she's going to give me a ' _no.'_ "

Even with the dread in Soul's face, Kid's only comfort to him was a short laugh. "You could have just asked her."

Soul lips curled into a sour smile, "Sure, easy." Air strangled in his throat for a second as he ran his fingers through his hair. "Her first reaction, Kid, was that it was a mistake. She said that to me. She looked me in the face and… it hurt so fucking much. I didn't think it would because I told myself she'd probably freak right off the bat and say or do something extreme but even warning myself like that didn't help. Even saying it now just makes me feel like shit."

"You know she didn't mean that," Kid let a hand fall and pat at Soul's knee.

"Yeah, but she _could_ ," Soul groaned. "And leaving her this week made it feel like I wasn't going to be able to convince her otherwise. She's going to be at home thinking about all the things that could go wrong while I'm not around to show her what could go right."

Kid hummed thoughtfully before easing himself to his feet. Soul's head shot up, staring at him desperately. "You know, I think I want to stretch my legs." Before Soul could even object, Kid was grabbing the phone off of the bedside table, offering it to him. "Use the time wisely."

* * *

The three of them were tangled on the couch, limbs askew in comfort as the movie blared on. Maka was actually fighting heavy eyelids especially as the clock was ticking close to 1 AM. Just as she was about to nod off the phone trilled, ripping her violently from her rest. It took giggled filled minutes to unwind with Tsubaki and Liz as the phone called away, Maka rushing the last few steps to grab the receiver. "Albarn-Evans residence," she managed to murmur out before having to cover a yawn.

"Hey," Soul seemed to whisper from a million miles away.

"Hey, is everything OK?" All of the fatigue was gone as her hand clutched the receiver.

"Oh, yeah, fine, we're in the motel," Soul reassured her quickly. "Sorry, I know it's late."

She took a long, slow breath. "As long as you're OK."

"Well…" His sigh shuddered over the other end. "I'm not, Maka."

"Did something happen? Did Kid-"

"No," he groaned. "Chill. It's not work stuff. Just listen to me."

That didn't ease her fear, the fingers of her other hand now tangling desperately in the hem of her t-shirt. "OK…"

"I wanted to spend this week with you to remind you that we're good together," his voice was urgent and she could almost feel the ghost of his fingers tightening in her skin, his hands clutching at her to drive the point home. "And now I'm fucking hundreds of miles away and there's _nothing_ I can do except lamely telling you over the phone that we are. There's nobody in this whole world who knows me like you do, who tolerates my bullshit but still makes me better and I can't live without that. I can't lose you, do you understand that? I was scared to leave because that's the one thing that I don't know how to handle."

"So now I'm calling you to _beg_ because I don't know what else to do. I'm worried you're making some kind of decision and I _know_ you told me not to and that makes me feel even fucking worse. Just promise me, fucking _swear_ that when I get home we're going to sit down and talk. Not fight, not dance around this anymore, but talk. We're not perfect at that, I know, but I want to try. Please." By the end, he was huffing like he'd run a marathon and Maka was almost sure she heard him gulp down a sob.

"I can't lose you either," she murmured before taking a trembling breath, her lip shaking. "So we'll talk when you get home. I'm not going to decide anything without you."

"Thank you," he barely managed to choke out.

Maka pulled at the corner of her t-shirt again, feeling the tears start. "Soul, I'm sorry."

"There's nothing to be sorry about, I'm just-"

"No, I should be," she urged back. "What I said, that this was a mistake. I lied, and I never lie to you, and I don't want to start doing that. So I'm sorry."

Some of his breath seemed to come back to him, "That was a lie?"

"Of course it was," she sighed.

She could hear him shuffling over the other end before a somewhat sweeter sigh came from his lips. "You know I don't think it was either, right?"

Maka fed him a short laugh, "You better not. You started it."

"No way," he scoffed. " _You_ kissed _me_ first."

She sent a furtive glance down the hallway before cupping her hand to the receiver just in case those wandering ears had turned off the movie. "You _undressed_ me first."

"Oh," he teased out the vowel as he finally let a laugh leave his lips. "I guess you got me. I… I did like that. Almost as much as I like this. I like what we have, Maka. I want to keep it. I… have a lot to say to you when I come home."

"Me, too." She wanted to urge him back, to beg for him to hurry it up but the somber reality was there. There was still a world out there that was beyond them, that needed their saving and wouldn't wait on romance, no matter how necessary it felt to her. "I'll be waiting when you come home."


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **sexual content ahead**

Obviously, Soul was always driven when it came to living up to _Death's Last Weapon_ title, to save another little corner of the world, but his meticulousness and dedicated attention might have been slightly motivated by outside factors. It was 50/50. OK, maybe 25/75 because the more he thought about getting back to Maka the more the scale tilted. He always missed her when they were split which unfortunately seemed to be more often as they crept towards adulthood except Soul was going to make sure this was the last time because they could always be split as partners, but he'd be damned if anything other than work was going to separate them.

This drove him to an efficiency that rivaled Kid's, putting them both on an earlier than expected flight back. He tried to sleep, knowing the jet-lag would take him but there was no way since Soul was overwhelmed with the task of _not_ rehearsing and rewriting the conversation in his head. He'd made one plan and he was sticking to it. That's why it wasn't a relief to get in at 2 AM, to ease himself into the silent apartment without any hope of getting a conscious word out of her let alone a romantic moment.

He shuffled down the hallway and felt his heart leap at the open bedroom doors. Maka never slept with the door open and he found his heart thundering as he rushed to her room, just barely keeping from smacking into the frame. Her bed was empty, sheets perfectly tucked as neat as possible. "No," he groaned. _She's gone. She made a decision. She lied-_

"Soul?"

This time he did bump into the frame, her sleepy voice jerking him back from tumbling over that panicked edge. Soul turned and took the few steps to his room to find her curled up in his bed, her sleepy head just raised off the pillow as she pulled up on her elbow. "Hey," he barely breathed it out.

"You're back early," she murmured before looking at the clock. "Oh, it's _so_ early." A desperate little laugh left his lips as she crumpled back into the bed. "Go take a shower and come to bed."

"Yes ma'am," he managed a chuckle this time as she grunted annoyance back at him. There were a few more laughs to be had at his own expense as he plodded to the bathroom to follow orders. There were still residuals of the fear of losing her, that split second of an empty bed but he let them wash away in the heat and with the knowledge that she was waiting for him. Only the necessary time was taken, no lingering before stumbling back to his room in the darkness.

It was relief again to find her there, her fist tangled in the sheets and pulled tight under her chin. _I wonder if she knows how beautiful she is to me especially like this._ He switched his towel for a fresh pair of boxers from his drawer before turning back to the bed and easing down behind her. Her breath was easy and slow so he was sure the best he was going to get was to lay next to her. Instead, as he climbed under the sheet, Maka scooted backward, her back settling against his chest and leaving him no choice but to throw an arm around her.

"Everything go alright?" her murmur was still filled with sleep but her fingers were searching for his. She laced them together before positioning his hand to her chest.

"Fine." There was nothing to stop him but her so he risked it, raising his head so he could press his lips to the crux of her neck. He was rewarded with a soft sigh from her lips which only spurred him on to nuzzle along her jaw. "I'm glad you're here."

"I told you, I wasn't going anywhere." He was sure he'd toed too far over the line since she raised her head as she said that, but to his surprise she was simply clearing away her hair, leaving him completely unobstructed.

Soul smirked before testing another kiss on her neck. "I meant in _my_ bed."

She laughed softly but her fingers squeezed his, spelling out a different message than the sound. "I was afraid you wouldn't wake me up when you got home."

He paused from the want, letting his whisper fall to her ear instead. "Did you need me to?"

"A little." Her voice sounded so small that his heart lurched.

Soul searched for her, tangling more than just their fingers but feeling her soul, finally noticing what he could only describe as bareness. "Do you need me to do anything else?" She was silent and he could feel the connection between them trembling, humming with her thoughts. "Maka?" he prodded, almost sure it was hopeless.

Her fingers unwound from his, leaving his hand hovering above her chest. "Will you touch me?"

That came with an involuntary swallow, his heart already fluttering in his chest. "You want me to?"

She sighed, "More than anything."

Soul brought his hand to her shoulder, fingers splayed against her skin as he started a slow drift down the line of her body. He was pressing the sheet away as he went and his eyes followed the reveal of skin underneath. Even with the urge that was building, the way it ached when his hand moved from her arm to the dip at her waist, Soul brought his lips to her ear again. "We said we were going to talk."

"After, I promise," she sounded breathless. The goosebumps rose under his fingertips as he hit the end of her shirt, finding a thin strip of skin before being surprised by her panties.

"I need…" he choked for a moment, his fingers slipping under her shirt and pausing at the bare skin of her stomach. "I need one thing from you first."

"What is it, Soul?" There was less desire and more concern in her voice, her hand momentarily coming over his with the shirt between them.

He sucked in air, trying to stop the thundering in his chest. "I need to know if you love me."

She squeezed his hand, her voice no longer anything close to a whisper, "Of course I do."

All of his panic seemed foolish in the face of her bold reply, the way she spat it back as if all of it was obvious. "I love you." The words only pushed his heart further into overdrive, the heat coming to his face like he had something to be embarrassed about. The best of all was the relief in her sigh, the way every last bit of her seemed to relax against him. "Maka, I really do," he added before he pressed his lips to her neck again.

"Then show me." There was an irresistible giddiness to her voice and while he wanted to taste it off her lips he was more intent on following orders. The hand on her stomach quickly slipped to her side against the bed, angling her more onto his chest so he could snake his other arm underneath her. She gasped at the shift, the way he pulled her practically on top of him so that he could create enough space so his one hand could clutch at her breast while the other slid back down her stomach to the edge of her panties.

His teeth grazed her earlobe before he was murmuring again, "This time, let it go."

"Yes," she panted as his fingers teased over her nipple.

"I like the sound of that," he grinned before pressing his lips to her neck again. Soul was sure he was hungrier for her now, his need no longer tempered by wonder or distracted by coming up with plans. His only course was giving her exactly what she wanted, fulfilling any request.

Maka pulled up one of her knees to allow for her legs to spread, her foot dangling in the air without thought as his fingers dipped under the hem of her panties. He timed a squeeze of her nipple just as he slid his fingers between her lips, plunging inside of her without hesitation. "Yes," she moaned again and he wondered if she was doing that on purpose but decided it didn't matter, it was driving him crazy either way.

With slick fingers, he moved in and out of her, curling them to try to find that sensitive spot. When he hit it, she erupted in a wild groan. "Soul!" He couldn't decide what was better, his name or her spontaneous cries of consent so he spurred her on, sampling each over and over again. His fingers stopped their thrusts, leaving her legs shaking.

"Grab a condom," he murmured in her ear.

Her hands searched weakly towards the nightstand as he pulled down her panties. He grabbed at the soft flesh of her ass just as she had gotten to the box. Soul was forced to slow his hands as he ripped off his own boxers in time for her to hand him the wrapper. "Should I-" she started to turn but his hand came firmly back to her hip, keeping her in place.

"Stay right there," he murmured while he fiddled with the latex, letting it glide over his aching erection with a hiss. This would be a tangle of limbs, he knew it, but anything was worth trying if it meant pleasing her. He lifted Maka's leg back up by hooking her knee with his arm, giving him just enough space to slip inside of her. Just like the first time, both gasped at the sensation as he buried himself in her. It wasn't a position meant for thrusting since he had very little leverage to pound away, but he hoped he could get her to feel both the stroke and his fingers. "Try moving your hips."

Maka tested it out, not a full range of motion but a tempting grind that brought another moan to her lips. "Is that OK?"

"Definitely." He planted another kiss on her shoulder before releasing her leg so he could slide his fingers back down in between them. As soon as his fingers even touched her clit she was groaning, flutters of breath breaking her lips desperately. He exhaled hotly against her ear as he started to apply pressure, gliding his fingers in slow, tight circles. "I just want to make you happy," he murmured helplessly as he was lost in the movement of her hips.

Maka's hand came up, caressing into his hair. She turned her head enough to rest cheek to cheek with him, searching for some kind of steadiness as everything started to unravel. He didn't have to urge her on, to try to persuade her any more than what his fingers were doing because it was obvious now that there wasn't a battle anymore. She wasn't fighting herself, just letting that final cry reverberate through her chest to his as he slipped his hand away to catch her leg as it flexed. All he could do was continue to trail kisses along her neck as he waited for her breath to come back.

"That _was_ the best," she grinned as she turned her head just enough to catch his lips.

"Not done yet." It was a wonderful kind of agony to slide out of her and while he was eager to get back he still just rolled on top of her. Soul desperately wanted her warmth and the feeling of her lips. Not only that but taking his time, savoring this moment was the first thing on his mind since that first night had moved in a blur for him. Maka's fingers made blazing trails up and down his back, kneading into muscles as his tongue played against hers.

Soul broke the kiss for a sweet sigh as she wrapped her legs around his waist, letting him rub back against her slick center. He toyed with her for a few more strokes before she grasped him, angling to the point of no return. There wasn't anything he wanted more anyway, so he thrusted forward, eliciting a little hiccuped gasp from her mouth. He came back to himself almost immediately, his hand suddenly moving to smooth over her hair to clear it from her eyes. "Too much?"

"No, go ahead," she replied with a smile before lifting her head and catching his lips. He needed that, all of it, from her soft, reassuring touch to the willingness in her lips and finally the lock of her legs that kept pulling him back in. This time there was no need to wait, making Soul set a steady rhythm as he rocked in and out of her. He wished kissing her felt like an option but as his strokes began to reach a frantic pace, he could only breathe across her lips. It was with one last aching groan that he felt all of it overcome him, his legs becoming useless beneath him as he let the euphoria take him.

"Now, that was the best," he murmured breathlessly as he pulled back on his haunches.

Maka was already reaching for him, "Where are you going?"

"Give me a second, I just want to clean up." Soul was true to his word, rushing out of the room and only disappearing momentarily. As he walked back in his heart skipped a beat, finding her still lying uncovered, one hand running along her collarbone as the other sat flat on her stomach. "You're beautiful," he made sure that was nowhere near a murmur as he slipped back in bed next to her.

"You don't have to say that."

He hated the weak smile on her lips so he kissed them, hoping to either wipe it away or strengthen it back to the intensity of before. "Have to and want to are two different things." As he pulled away, he ran his hand through her hair, tucking it behind her ears. "I mean it just as much as when I said I love you."

Maka let out a warbling breath, "I guess both take getting used to."

"Do you think you can?" Soul propped up on his elbow so he could stare and let those green eyes see through him. "When I left I thought maybe you were… maybe it was too much."

"I was afraid of a lot of things." Her hand ran up his arm until it was sunken at the base of his neck, playing with the fine hairs there. "I wasn't sure where your want was going to stop."

He tilted into her touch as his eyes narrowed. "What does that mean?"

Maka sucked in air, trying to give enough strength to the words that needed to come. "What do you want from this, Soul? If you just want to sleep with me-"

"No," he shot at her, making sure to cut that thought into pieces before it even came to life. "I want… I want us to keep moving forward. To be closer, if that's even possible, and… to have that future together."

The tears felt inevitable no matter how hard she fought against them and Maka preemptively brought her other hand to her cheek, waiting to catch the moisture. "But what happens if it doesn't work out? We both said we can't stand the idea of losing each other…"

"Would you believe me if I said it has to work out?" he tried on a glum smile that barely fit his features.

Another shaky breath and Maka was pulling him to meet her, her lips trying to force away the smile that didn't suit him. "I believe everything you tell me."

He laughed sharply, "Really?"

"At this point, I assume you know better than to lie to me," she muttered as she pulled far enough away to watch the amusement flutter over his scarlet eyes. "So we're going to… date?"

"Yeah," he shrugged but the grin pulling at the corners of his mouth betrayed him. "Because the alternative? Going back to pretending we don't feel this way just to save our friendship sounds miserable."

"It does," Maka murmured.

"And the idea that I could never kiss you again _kills_ me." Kissing wasn't the only thing he was thinking about as he ran his fingers along her collarbone.

"It does feel nice." For some reason, the admission still brought a blush to her cheeks and it fed his smirk.

Soul had a million playful things to tease with but instead, he brought his lips back to hers, a tender brush that he was certain felt more than just _nice_. "But you're sure now? That we can try this out, you and me."

Maka slid towards him and pushed Soul onto his back so she would lay her head on his chest, letting her body cling tightly to his as she tried to erase another line. "We're not trying, Soul. We are. It's you and me."

His arms wrapped around her, anchoring her to him. "And you love me?"

"I love you," she urged again. "That's the last thing you should worry about."

Soul sighed with the weight of the week, "Yeah, well, maybe it's just nice to hear it."

Maka tucked that away, a reminder she'd now set that he would need the reassurance, maybe some soft whispers in his ear at different points during the day. It gave her a new sort of excitement, planning how to love him rather than how to squirrel it away. It was a relief, beautiful, and complete. As she sunk into him, testing his heartbeat next to her ear, Maka murmured, "When did you know you loved me?"

He grunted, "What kind of question is that?"

"An easy one," Maka snapped back. "There's a moment, isn't there?"

"Was there for you?" he shot back playfully.

"I asked you first," she griped.

Another annoyed grunt slipped from his lips before he used them to plant a kiss at her hairline. "Dunno. I think I figured there was more to what I was feeling for you in that last fight with Giriko. We only got out of that because of luck, because he, or I guess she, made the choice to risk dying to kill you. I spent a lot of time after that thinking about how I'd never be able to fill that part of my life if something happened to you. To me, you were irreplaceable. I only wanted _you_ in my life and that was that." This snort was thoughtful and trailed into amusement. "But you know what? It was something simpler than that."

"So there was a moment?" Maka wanted to lift her head but he was clutching too tightly, keeping her stuck.

"Sorta," he let a short laugh rumble beneath her ear in his chest. "You probably don't even remember it. You were reading one of your books, can't say I actually remember which one and you'd propped a pillow against my leg and I could see you out of the corner of my eye. You were crying and I remember my first thought being ' _that fucking adorable dork'_ and I couldn't stop myself from reaching over and catching one of your tears with my thumb. You jumped and, hell, _I_ jumped because since when do I just take liberties touching your face? But you grabbed it and pressed it to your cheek, let me catch all the rest."

"And right then I knew how much I wanted to do that. Not just at that moment but be your comfort for as long as you'd take my hand. I wasn't just protecting you because I was your weapon but because I wanted your heart just as safe as the rest of you. And in a short-lived moment of confidence, I was convinced that you'd taken my hand because you were sure I could do it, that I gave you that feeling." Soul finally released his stranglehold and Maka raised her head, seeing none of that old confidence shining back at her.

"You're not sure of that now," she murmured.

"Told you, short-lived," he laughed sharply.

"It shouldn't be," she shook her head firmly. "You always do that. Another reason why I always believe you. If you tell me it's alright, it has to be because you make it feel that way."

"Huh." That grin was back, a little wonder added to the corner as he let all of that settle. "Your turn."

A fresh blush colored her cheeks as she settled her arms across his chest so she could rest her chin without digging into him. "Maybe not just one moment…"

"That's cheating!" He prodded her side, eliciting a laugh from her.

"Alright, alright," she giggled. "The first time you went on a mission with just Kid. I was scared I wasn't your partner, that you'd come home and I wouldn't matter to you anymore. I thought maybe I'd finished my purpose with you, that there was no reason for you to want to be with me anymore. I spent the whole time miserable, convincing myself that there wasn't anything keeping us together anymore." True to his nature, Soul's hand fell to her cheek, ready to catch the tears that were threatening in her eyes but more just to rub comfort into her skin.

"But when you came home…" she let out the sweetest sigh even though a few tears risked running down her cheek. "You walked so purposefully into the room and grabbed me without a word. That hug, the way your soul instantly coiled around mine just like your arms around my shoulders… I didn't want anything else and when you didn't stop I kind of hoped that you wanted the same thing."

Soul grin, "I missed you so damn much that trip. That's why that hug lasted so long, just couldn't convince myself to let go. I knew I was pushing the envelope but I wanted that just as much as I guess you did."

Maka shimmied closer and he happily helped her, his hands leaving her face to explore down her bare side. Their lips met, another soft and slow exploration as the rush of the freedom of their words started to settle. She finally separated them, Soul giving a lovelorn sigh in reply. "I was wrong, Soul."

"Hm?" His hands were still on their search, memorizing her bare skin so when his eyes fluttered back open they were hazy with love.

"I want this, too," she tangled a hand in his hair as she pressed her forehead to his. "This is me saying yes."


End file.
